Each relationship has its own beauty. each one is different in its own ways mainly that you make your love possible and the way you feel for each other. Yes, love has only one face, love itself.
The main problem that is facing basically in today's relationship is feeling more insecure, the arrival of social media makes it kind of strong. Being insecure in a relationship is kind of normal. But if you let your fears take over your life and relationship, then there’s a serious problem.
As living beings, we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes, our flaws get the better of us, so much so that they are playing an important role in altering our personalities. We all have flaws—and that’s exactly what makes us human! But if flaws give rise to major insecurities that distract the way we think and behave, then it’s definitely a terrific problem. If left unchecked, they can make huge bad changes in several areas of our lives, including our relationships.
Here we are really trying to make you aware of the insecurities that make your life miserable and the solutions that should be taken to improve your relationship.
- What makes you insecure in a relationship?
Do you have trouble while trusting your partner? There’s no denying that love is the most important part of a romantic relationship, but so is trust. If your insecurities come in the middle of trusting your partner, then it’s definitely going to be too difficult for you to open up to them emotionally. This is going to affect your relationship in so many ways because it will restrict the kind of emotional intimacy you both have. All in all, it is dangerous for your relationship.
- Do you internalize your negative thoughts and turn them into actions?
We all have so many negative thoughts from time to time, but if you find yourself trapped in the cycle of these negative thoughts and self-doubt every now and then, you are bound to internalize your thoughts and act a certain way. It is said that if you do the same thing all over again, it becomes a habit. Eventually, it becomes a part of your relationship, affecting your partner and making your relationship a toxic one. You may think it’s pretty normal, but it’s already started to eat your relationship, little by little!
- Do you always compare yourself to your partner’s exes?
Again, we all are curious to know who our partners have loved before us. But if you are so obsessed over the details and always compare yourself with them, then it’s definitely become a problem in your relationship. Even if your partner completely loves you, he is going to get put off with this constant comparison. In a saying, it could be a deal-breaker for any healthy relationship.
- Does your partner need to constantly reassure you?
Reassurance from your partner on and off is not an actual bad thing, we all need it. But if your partner needs to validate your every action, then there’s a serious problem. And in case they get fed up reassuring you, then your insecurities are only going to multiply to a hundred times. This also shows that you are over-dependent on your partner to improve your self-confidence, which is not a very good sign. So, try and work on your insecurities, and your over-dependence on your partner will begin to reduce.
- Is your existence all about your partner?
When you are involved in a super romantic relationship, there’s a lot of things you and your partner will do together. But does not mean EVERYTHING! You both need to lead your own individual lives, and that means hanging out with your own set of best friends and doing the things you like. If you find yourself doing anything and everything your partner likes, even if you have no interest in it, goes on to show that you are highly insecure in your relationship.
Now we are going to look at how to get off from your insecurities in a relationship:
- Think about your own value
When you feel so insecure, you are focused on something you feel is lacking about you. In most well-going relationships, each partner brings different qualities and strengths that complement the other. It is possible to be equals in different paths. To feel more secure and comfortable in a relationship it helps to know what you have to offer to the other person. You don’t have to be rich or to be a pageant to offer something—personality characteristics are far more important to the better quality of a relationship. Think about the traits you have as a person—you may be nice, honest, loyal, funny, kind, or a good talkative person. These are the traits most people value in a partner. And think about how you will make the other person’s life better: Do you make them feel loved, supported, cared and happy? These are things everyone wants to feel in a relationship, but many often don’t get this. Focus on what you offer instead of what you feel you lack, this will change your way of seeing. If the other person doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer to them, that’s his or her loss.
- Try to build your self-esteem
Scientific studies show that people with more relationship insecurity tend to have poorer self-esteem. When you aren’t feeling great about who you are on the inside, it is natural to want to look outside of yourself for validation. However, trying to feel safe by getting approval from your partner is a losing situation for any relationship. When your well-being depends on someone else, you give away all of your strength. A healthy partner won’t want to carry this kind of burden and it can push them away. Feeling good about who you are is the most important thing for the relationship. You get to enjoy and be happy with the sense of well-being that comes with genuinely liking yourself, and self-confidence is an attractive and perfect quality that makes your partner want to be closer to you.
Try to be an independent person
A healthy relationship consists of two healthy people. Becoming overly enmeshed in a relationship can lead to poor boundaries and wanting to diffuse sense of your own needs. Maintaining your sense of self-identity and taking care of your needs by yourself for personal well-being are the keys to keeping a healthy balance in a relationship. When you aren't dependent on your relationship to fill all of your wants, you feel more secure about your life. Being an independent person who has things going on outside of the relationship also makes you a more interesting, attractive, and perfect partner. Ways to maintain your independence include:
Making time for your own friends
- Interests, and hobbies
- Maintaining financial independence
- Have self-improvement goals that are separate from your relationship goals.
In essence: Don’t forget to love yourself.
- Always trust in yourself
Feeling safe and secure in a relationship depends on trusting the other person but, more importantly, on learning to trust yourself.
- Trust yourself to know that no matter what your partner does, you will take care of yourself.
- Trust yourself to know that you won’t ignore your own voice when it tells you that something isn’t right.
- Trust yourself not to hide your feelings and emotions.
- Trust yourself to make sure your needs are met and give you satisfaction.
- Trust yourself that you won’t lose your sense of self-identity and your own destiny.
Trust yourself to know that if the relationship isn’t working well, you will still be able to leave and be a whole functioning individual.
When you trust yourself, you feel secure. If finding this kind of trust in yourself seems very difficult on your own, you may wish to find and work with a professional who can help you learn how to do this.
It's important to remember that no one is perfect and everyone has their own flaws. But it isn’t necessary to be perfect to be in a happy, healthy, secure, and loving relationship. When you take your attention away from what other people think and always keep the focus on yourself, you can’t help to be a better, more secure version of yourself.
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